January 2012 Blog Posts (36)

Shivering waiting  for that ice too break staring quietly face too face

Elephant in room has lost his balance but his memory will never be erased

Just like glaicers that melt away drift away from shore

The you I remember is unreachable I not sure who you are anymore

You find simple comfort curled up in dark all alone

Youve given up on family you use too call home

You say you cant fight it its just too hard too try

Ill be…

one thing, one time, into one being

the putdowns and the poontangs

travel like gangs, thieves, dumb melee

i erase, put em all away

conscience so strange

im clear in that way

seems i dont get paid

in material sense

no insensitive military nonsence

that fad came and went

reincarnated with a fucked program again sat down actually wrote an entire small circle thang..............give up more ego really dumb ego when things go slow its cos there not in your control

is that avisual in silly choices shielded my light from some dum b danger seen some mind weird opposite of saviour reptile animal brain not really nice choices............illusion of dark behaviour

reincarnated with a fucked program again sat down actually wrote an entire small circle thang..............give up more ego really dumb ego when things go slow its cos there not in your control

is that avisual in silly choices shielded my light from some dum b danger seen some mind weird opposite of saviour reptile animal brain not really nice choices............illusion of dark behaviour

the naggin shame

you were her again

but now i stare

across the nothing

at you

you creepy bastard

fuck yer not even there

spectro/phantasmo

now i burn you

with every gadgetrahmo

im quicker now

awake on surface

float relaxo

even forgot pax retardo

hope they like me

hey

forgot

no thing expect eh

forgive me god

for acting poor

no god no mind

no attachments

dark hits the floor

learn to forgive

shit.....that was keeping me

locked in negative

holy fuck

now i can live

massive fear where coulda been love

butt some ass planet

no clue what im speakin of

oops didnt really teach love

world too old to get it up

up on soul feelin

even…

drunk and stoned i know

makes me happier than low

grooververse starts to roll

the more positive seeds i sow

soft music soft choice

for the fear broken mind of the soul

my higher self is in the know

old soul stressed

beyond sane i know

mind forget the fading notes

release stagnant sticky old

drill dissipate

nightmares end , leave, go

the god within is bouncin

so happy to be anything

but then

like what the fuck

this world insanely sucks

just a weird ass choice soul made

got fuck all to do with luck

girl in psychical form

so spiritual so often

far beyond the norm

so deep in spirit world

wonder how long shell stick

round here for

like a queen

filtered thru the ether

visitor to physical form

mastered the madness

with a thought

calm any storm

perfumed and pristine

loving humble

whilst the boys

act monkey…

your the perfect dictator girl

cutest lil ditch pig too

probably from alien world

suck me into chaos

stomach hurls

big brain shuts off

just cos you got the look

small brain kinna shallow

im zombie old and weak

impoverished but improved

from poor ego

rich in spirit

loud mouth snook

unlikely our monkey love

will continue beyond this…

why drive myself crazy

realized its fun

especially paranoid fucked

unraveled undone

screamin fear

in the face of my oeers

stunnedest bunny's me

vacuum vortex drawing near

im just starin out

on this yoga thing

stretchin all about

and actual breathing

till the really real thing

becomes the norm

automatic positive patterns

installin life in a higher form

or stay stuck in stupid

dumbly glarin around

step out of depression and crazy

guilt syndrome shames me

and fear the illusion

make that bitch obey me

oops i was the problem

awareness…

finally figured out to make music for myself

not desperate to please

anybody else

so busy with all that

forgot to fill myself

into this now

wasnt taught shit

wasnt a dummy

generation from

the mindfucked numb

dad and mummy

numb dad dum mum

guess its not their fault

so im neutral

except at my gestalt

screaming therapy

i even get dramatic

as dumb…

thought and feeling

what the freak is that

is it like that yummy itch

i just scratched

oops thoughts racin again

forgot to slow it

with a feeling thang

better slow real fast to that

real person

or piece ah crap

sent out my signals strange

came shootin back

cross the universe again

these billion sparks

seem to be my friend

whats the weed doin

boomin down the…

supposed to be polite

that makes me more angry

animal side tries explain

real feelings vent thru brain

stifled like a brit

fuck these mental chains

nature and feeling not taught

somethin we should have known

or had rather thought

should have

feelings i should know

consciously even though

seeds had not been sown

release to fears unknown

slippin thru the undertow

of the…

big stuff taken care of

seems simple needs met

the old me

recycled struggling

makin more of that

and not gettin there yet

small stuff looks big

till you discover that nothing is

and nothin works

with a flip of the wrist

and im so falmbouyant

they fall down

when i dont give a shit

heavy therapy

drunk and stoned

who are these freaks to judge

just draggin  body…

embrace my inner bitch, manipulate the illusions

to really hit the shit

found something i big time forgot

or never really knew bout love

works thru anything in any spot

still relieved to believe and see

fucker scrubs anything up

ridin on the good ship

super-duper relationship

love a little bit

guess thats okay and its all we got

a little experience, even challenging

no friends…

for a lifetime that may be my last

check what ive done

something so mental

few could possibly understand

yeah im that guy

who likes to embarrass itself

conditionied reaction from bullyin fun

fuckers who get sick thrill

no wonder ive been on the run

well heres the pristine outcome

burned out piece of charcoal

where coulda been soft love

standin in cold rain

gigglin again

that the…

endless terse talk

so overthinking

too tense to walk

collective memory crazy

swirlin like mad bastard

desperation but my brain saves me

observe from further back

pul;lin way back

all attack is a cry for help

cos i didnt get enough

but all the while

had every tool

to create a self

yeah no reason to cry out loud

but silently inside

heartless world wont allow

fuck them…

love yer tourists

though they violate time an space

so many of em

chose our fair planet

to dump

past life rage

is it gonna kill us

well it didnt yesterday

coffee dredges up

peasant fear

california couldnt wash away

definite tourists

got the shit package

my mission seems more dumb

musta been drunk when i signed on

yeah i bet thats what i did

gotta laugh at…