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GOD@HEAVEN.COM /You’ve Got Mail
Hey Roz, I just got an e-mail from some crackpot who says he’s God. Says he needs my help and has an assignment for me. The e-mail return address is GOD@Heaven.com. How do these people always find me? I must have a target on my back, as all the kooks out there seem to eventually always find me.
Roz, you have to come in here and see this. It looks real but it must be a scam.
Jim, why don’t you go listen to one of your talk shows on the radio? I have to go shopping or we won’t have any dinner tonight.
Roz, you have to come here and take a look at this. Just tell me what you think.
This is some nut so don’t answer that e-mail. Listen to me Jim, you’ll be VERY sorry. You’ll get some horrible virus and it’ll cost us a fortune to fix it. It sounds to me like some kind of a scam and you’re asking for a lot of trouble.
Well trouble was my middle name, but I told Roz not to worry, I’ll just delete the e-mail and forget about it.
Roz left to go shopping and I just sat there looking at the screen. I know I promised her I wouldn’t open it up, but I was going crazy with curiosity. It had GOD @Heaven.com on the top of the e-mail. I was sure it was either a mistake or some joke. Virus or not I just had to see what happened if I answered it. Would I get a response? Could it really be from God? Where else could this e-mail be coming from? I wish I had bought that special software that enabled you check something like this out. Besides, if it were that important for God to contact me, the least I could do was to answer him, right? So I typed in “what do you want”? I also asked for some proof that this is all legitimate. So I held my breath and hit send. If this computer got screwed up Roz would kill me. I’d be living in some park under a bridge. It only took about ten seconds and I got this reply
In five minutes I want you to go to Borders Book Store in Breezy where you live. In front of the store there will be a man wearing a black sweat suit and a red baseball cap. He’ll be expecting you. Tell him you came to pick up the letter.
That was it, nothing more. I shut off the computer, waited five minutes and got in my car and headed down to the Book Store. I figured that even if this was a scam, nobody would be able to set it up this quickly. As I pulled up to the Book Store there was a guy standing there in a black sweat suit and wearing a red baseball cap. My heart started to pound and I thought I was going to faint. I parked the car and just watched the guy for a few minutes. He seemed to be just standing there waiting for somebody. Could that somebody possibly be me? He had a small white envelope in his hand. I got out of the car and slowly walked over to him. He had a calm look on his very white face. I tentatively approached him and before I had a chance to open my mouth he said
“Hi Jim, I’ve been waiting for you. I was told to give you this envelope. “
Who are you I demanded. How do you know my name and what I look like? Who told you to come here and wait for me? Is this some kind of sick joke?
Then this man said. “Your Mom’s maiden name was Shapiro and died in 1967. You were Captain of your High School Basketball Team. Your Sister’s name is Barbara. You write Stories. You had a Dog named Penny as a child. You have a chipped tooth in the front of your mouth on the lower left side. Your best friend as a child was named Stan. You don’t have many friends now. Actually you’re a loner. Should I go on? My instructions were to give you this white envelope and leave.”
I just looked at him incredulously, my mind racing a million miles per hour. I couldn’t really organize my thoughts. I felt a little light headed.
Here Jim, take this envelope so I can go Home. I’ve been away for a long time and anxious to get back.
My mouth was so dry I could barely swallow. I was completely blown away by all of this. So I reached out my shaking hand and took the plain white envelope. All at once I felt a bolt of electricity run through my entire body. It was a wonderful feeling though, and I immediately knew that this man was no ordinary man. I wasn’t sure what lie ahead for me, but I figured that I was in for the ride of my life. I said goodbye and wished him a good trip home. Then I turned to walk away. As I took a few stops towards my car I turned back to ask one more question, but was too late. The guy was gone, just disappeared into thin air. It was only about two seconds before I turned back to him.
I slowly walked back to my car, stunned at what just happened. That amazing feeling I had when I first grabbed the envelope was now starting to fade. It felt like an injection of truth. I started to believe that the e-mail was from God. I was convinced that my life was about to change in a major way. Nothing was ever going to be the same.
I slowly drove around the neighborhood for about an hour before heading home. I still hadn’t opened the little white envelope. I guess I was too scared to. Or maybe I was just hoping it would be empty. Or maybe it would say ONLY KIDDING. Maybe I was just hallucinating and none of this was real. I was a pretty good Teacher in my day, but never considered myself anything special. I was socially and politically engaged at times. I always took up for the underdog. I usually railed against the wrongs I saw in society. I had a strong feeling about good and evil. I n was never in to Organized Religion but did believe in God. I considered myself very spiritual. I also had good common sense. Money never meant much to me outside of paying the bills. I was never interested in acquiring stuff, just never interested me. I usually cried at the sad parts of movies. I never laughed at crude comedy that made fun of people. Actually I feel TOO much. So if this was all true, why was I picked for this assignment? I was just a common man of the people. But maybe that was why I WAS picked. Maybe that was exactly what God was looking for.
I finally opened the envelope and peeked inside. I saw a little blue card. I took it out and read what it said. “HAVE I GOT YOUR ATTENTION YET”
I headed home with a million thoughts running through my feeble brain. I decided then and there, that this entire thing was true. It just had to be. I would take the next step and see what he wanted me to do. I pulled up in the driveway and was relieved to see that Roz wasn’t home yet. There must have been lots of sales at the Mall. To me, if you’ve seen one Mall you’ve seen them all. But Roz was addicted to them like an addict to cocaine. She just loved taking advantage of sales. Oh well, different strokes for different folk.
I went inside and fired up the Apple. I saw that I had one new message. It was from GOD@Heaven.com. I hit the inbox and there was this short message. I went over and got my reading glasses. I sat down at the computer and this is what was written
I was told that everything went very well at the book store. I see that you opened the white envelope. But I’m assuming you’re still not totally convinced. Am I correct? At 8 AM tomorrow put on CNN. They’ll announce that Indonesia had a large earthquake. Also a famous Senator will have died in an automobile accident. And if that isn’t enough for you, go and buy a pick 3 lotto ticket and bet 1111. After you cash it in and collect your money, get back to me and we can discuss your mission in more detail.
That was it. I just sat there in stunned silence. I couldn’t have gotten up if I tried. I’ll have to tell Roz the whole story but she’ll think I’ve gone bonkers. I’ll have to tell her about CNN and the lotto #1111. If all of that actually comes true she’ll have to believe it. I’ll tell her about the guy at the Book Store and that should clinch it. Why me, why now? What could I possibly do that God couldn’t do himself? But I was ready for whatever came next. I set my alarm for 7:45 AM tomorrow and waited to see what happened. But I already knew the truth. I just knew. I was taking on an assignment from the Big Guy Upstairs and it was an awesome responsibility. I was scared and excited at the same time. But I just decided to relax and put my life in the hands of God.
The alarm startled me out of a deep sleep. I was having some weird dream about some e-mails from God and was shocked to wake up and realize it wasn’t just a dream. I told Roz about the entire episode last night. She just looked at me with a funny look. She thought I was going nuts but said she’d wait to see if any of the predictions came true. She was skeptical to say the least, and I couldn’t blame her one bit. She went into the kitchen and brought us back some coffee. We got back into bed and turned on CNN.
Good morning everybody, we have a special bulletin that Senator David Smith, the Senior Senator for New Mexico, was killed last night in a car crash on I-95 near his home. He was coming home from a fundraiser and leaves a wife and 3 young daughters age 3, 10 and 12.
Also, we had a large earthquake ten miles off the coast of Indonesia. It registered a 7.2 but there are no reports of any damage at this time. No Tsunami warnings were issued either.
We just lay there dumbfounded. We were having trouble computing what we just heard.
Well said Roz jokingly, what do you want to do with the lotto winnings. Maybe we better purchase a few more tickets.
He said to buy one ticket and I don’t want to take advantage. That would be like Heavenly Insider Trading. NO, let’s go down to 7/11 and purchase one ticket on 1111.
We stayed in bed awhile longer just holding each other close. Neither of us had a clue as to what lie ahead for us. I think Roz was now totally convinced. There couldn’t possibly be this many coincidences. We were both scared but honored to be part of God’s Plan. He must have thought we can handle it or this wouldn’t be happening.
Whatever lingering doubts we may have had were now gone, especially after listening to the 11 PM News. We went out earlier and purchased one lotto ticket on 1111.
Good evening everybody. The cash 3 for today is 1111. By this time we weren’t even surprised by the news.
But the most amazing thing was yet to come. When I opened the Newspaper the next day I saw a small article on the bottom of page 5. This is what it said.
FIRST TIME IN THE LOTTO’S HISTORY WE ONLY HAD ONE WINNER. THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL. WE DON’T KNOW WHO THE WINNER IS BUT WE WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE VER SPECIAL PEOPLE.
We shut off the TV and just laid there for about an hour. We were each lost in our own thoughts. I asked Roz what she thought I should do next.
Maybe you should see if you any new messages.
I guess I could go check, but was too exhausted to move. I think I’ll wait till the morning honey.
Jim, are you 100% sure this is on the level?
Yeah I’m sure. Let’s go to sleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
We shut the lights off and held each other close. I could feel a shiver run through Roz’ body…..Or maybe it was coming from me. I laid there for about an hour with no sleep coming. I could hear Roz breathing easily, already asleep. But sleep was not to come to me that night. After about an hour I decided to get up and go have a glass of milk. Maybe it would help me sleep. But I knew where I was really going. I was dawn to my computer like a moth to a flame. I put on my reading glasses and turned on the computer. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. Would there be another message? Would I ever hear from him ever again? Was I just living some kind of strange nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from?
The computer came on.
There it was
You’ve got mail.